- I will actually laugh out loud when I type “LOL” to the person I am messaging with.
- Only get divorced and remarried once this year.
- I will try to drive closer to the speed limit.
- Start washing my hands after I use the restroom.
- I resolve to stop poisoning my family with my cooking.
- I will really work from home on my “work from home” days.
- Stop setting three alarms on my phone, just so I can turn the volume off after the first one.
- I will not wet the bed and blame it on my younger brother.
- I promise to be nice to my dog. I won't starve him to death more than 10 times.... in a month.
- I will not sit at the computer all the time. I will try to stand while I type for at least thirty minutes a day.
- Start using Facebook for something other than Farmville and stupid quizzes.
- I will stop hitting the “like” button just because I like the person who posted but not what they wrote.
- I will use my treadmill for something other than a place to hang my jacket.
- Gain enough weight to get on The Biggest Loser.
- Learn what the hell "resolution" means.
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