Funny Facebook Status

- When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the…

 

 - The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

 

- We are WTF generation …. WhatsApp, Twitter and Facebook.

 

 

- Dear Lord, all I ask for a chance to prove that winning the lottery won’t make a bad person.

 

 

- I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone. :)

 

 

- At least mosquitos are attracted to me.

 

  

- If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either :)

- I wonder what happens when doctor’s wife eats an apple a day. :)

 

 

- When a woman says WHAT? Its not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.

 

 

- The human brain is amazing. It functions 24 hours a day from the time we were born, and only stops when we take exam or are in love.

 

 

- I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice :)

 

 

- All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips.

- I used to like my neighbours, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi :) 

 

- Dear Google, thank you for doing most of my homework for me. :)

 

 

- For all the girls that say ….. All guys are the same …… Who told you to try them ALL.

 

 

- Please GOD if you can’t make me slim, make my friends fat.

 

 

- Its better to fail than to cheat but its better to cheat than to repeat.

 

 

- People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

 

 

- Why is abbreviation such a long word?

 

 

- The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.