African Lovers - Fulltooo WhatsApp Jokes

In Africa, a black boyfriend asks his black girlfriend in a dark night, near the Ocean in a very romantic mood...
...
....
Darling..
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.......
........
.........

Are you there....????

Husband Wife Funny Jokes: WhatsApp

It is said that Husband is the head of D   

family,But

Remember that wife is D Neck of D 

family.


& the Neck can turn the Head exactly D 

way she wants.




Possible Reasons When A Man Opens a 


car door for wife

 
1) The Car Is New.


2) The Wife Is New

3) (Most Imp) She Is Not His Wife


 

WhatsApp Marriage Jokes: "How Many Women A Man Can Carry?"

A little boy was attending his first wedding. 
After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"
 "Sixteen," the boy responded. 

His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" 

"Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer" 

WhatsApp Marriage Jokes: Anniversary Gift For Wife

- John asked his wife, Mary, what she wanted to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. "Would you like a new mink coat?" he asked.

"Not really," said Mary.
"Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?" said John.
"No," she responded.
"What about a new vacation home in the country?" he suggested.
She again rejected his offer. "Well what would you like for our anniversary?" John asked.
"John, I'd like a divorce," answered Mary.
"Sorry, I wasn't planning to spend that much," said John.

Idea To Avoid Annoying Wife: Marriage Jokes

- Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing their wives.

One signs to the other, boy was my wife mad at me last night!

She went on and on and wouldn't stop!

The other Buddy says when my wife goes off on me I just don't listen.

How do you do that? Says the other.

It's easy! I turn off the light! 

Funny Marriage Jokes: Devil To Husband

One Sunday morning, Satan appeared before a small town Church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, pushing each other with a lot of effort to get away.

Soon, everyone was gone, except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly. Satan walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"

The man replied, "Yep, sure do."

Satan asked, "Aren't you going to run?"

"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.

Angrily, Satan asked, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"

The man calmly replied, "I've Been married to your sister for over 48 years."

Husband Wife Clean Family Jokes

- A man left work and headed home one Friday afternoon. However, being that it was payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheck.

When he finally appeared at home Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.

 Finally, his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"

To which he replied, "That would be fine with me."

Monday came and went, and he didn't see his wife.

Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.

Come Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.

Best Husband Wife Marital WhatsApp Jokes

Husband : I found Aladin's lamp today.
Wife : Wow, what did u ask for darling ??
Husband : I asked him to increase your brain ten times..
Wife : Ohhh..Darling.. I love u so much.
Did he do that ??
Husband : He laughed and said multiplication doesn't apply on zero.


Wife's Weight Loss Mission
One friend to other: My wife wants to lose some weight,so she is doing a lot of horse riding.
Second Friend- And, what are the results? 
Friend: For the first week, the horse lost 20 pounds

 
Funny Husbands At Home
Police Officer: I arrest people, But, when I go home, I'm under house arrest, by Wife
Professor: I give lectures to students, But, when I go home, I get Lectured hourly, by wife
CEO: I'm the Boss, But, when I go home, I always feel like an employee, by wife
Judge: I give Justice, but when I go home, I Beg for Justice, by wife.

From a married life.

First year : He is talking – She is listening.

Second year : She is talking – He is listening.

Third year : They both are talking – Neighbours are listening.

WhatsApp Funny lol Jokes

Funny Jokes For WhatsApp

-- A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place:

Man: What's the problem officer?

Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.

Man: No sir, I was going 65.

Wife: Oh Harry. You were going 80.

(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)

Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light.

Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light!

Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks.

(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)

Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt.

Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.

Wife: Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt.

Man: Shut your mouth, woman!

Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way?

Wife: No, only when he's drunk.





Two Defence Generals
General Thomas of the Navy was visiting his colleague General Marshall who was in charge of the Army. Thomas arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall. They both walk around the place, and Thomas asks: "So how are your men?"
"Very well trained, Gral. Thomas.", Marshall Said.

Thomas- "I hope so. You see, my men over at the Navy are so well trained, you could see they're the bravest men all over the country." 
Marshall- "Well, my men are very brave, too."

Thomas- "I'd like to see that."

So Marshall calls private Cooper and says: "Private Johnson! I want you to stop that tank coming here with your body!"

"Are you crazy? It'd kill me, you idiot! I'm out of here!" As private Johnson ran away, Marshall turned to a bewildered Thomas and said:

"You see? You have to be pretty brave to talk like that to a general."

Husband Wife Jokes on Marriage

- A bus full of housewives going on a picnic crashed with no survivors. Each husband cried for a week, but one husband continued for more than two weeks. When asked he replied miserably... "My wife missed the bus"
  

- A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted excitedly, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!" 
  The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?" 
  "Doesn't matter," she said, "Just get out." 

- Wife 2 Husband: Did u Have any GF before marriage ?
   Husband remains silent ?
   Wife: what is D meaning of silence?
   Husband:  Don't be impatient. Wait.. let me count...

- One night a man walks into a bar looking sad. The bartender asks the man what he wants. The man says “Oh just a beer”. 
 The bartender asked the man “Whats wrong,why are you so down today?”. 
 The man said “My wife and i got into a fight,and she said she wouldn't talk to me for a month”. 
 The bartender said “So whats wrong with that”? 
 The man said “Well the month is up tonight”. 

Funny Husband Wife Joke: Neck of the family

If Husband is the head of the family, 

Then what's wife..

.

.

.

.

.

.

Answer- Neck of the family.

Why??

.

.

.

.

Think...

.

.

.

.

Because she can turn the head anywhere.

 Quote Of The Day:

Nothing is impossible for Men & Women If..

.

.

.

A Man tries

&

A Woman Cries