xml feed Best Funny Jokes: Animal Jokes
Showing posts with label Animal Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Animal Jokes. Show all posts

Thursday, June 5, 2014

One-Liner Animal Jokes For Kids

Q: What do you call a thieving alligator?
 A: A crookodile!


Q: What is black ,white and red all over?
A: A sunburnt penguin!


Q:What is an insect's favorite sport?
A: Cricket!

Q:Why do cows wear bells?
A: Their horns don't work!
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Sunday, May 25, 2014

Funny Pet Jokes: Does Your Dog Bite?

An old man walks into a shop and sees a 
cute little dog. He asks the 
shop-owner,“Does your dog bite?”

Shop-owner: “No, my dog does not bite.”

The man tries to pet the dog and the
dog bites him. “Ouch!” Angrily he says, “You said your dog does not
bite!”

Shop-owner replies, “Yes, but that is not my dog!”



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Friday, December 20, 2013

Clean Animal Jokes: Panda Enters A Bar



- A large panda comes into a beer-bar and have some beer nuts. 

Then the Panda takes out a gun, make a fires in the air, and move towards the exit door. 

“Hey You!” shouts the bartender angrily, 
But the panda smiles back, “I’m a panda. Go Search me on the Internet!” 

 Sure enough, The Bartender types Panda in Search :  
panda: “A tree-climbing bear with distinct black-and-white coloring. He
EATS SHOOTS and LEAVES.”


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Friday, November 29, 2013

Clean Animal Jokes For Kids



 
- A Cop stops a woman in a car with a rabbit in his car.
Cop-"Hey lady, what are you doing with that rabbit?"
He continued, "Take him to the zoo." 

After few days, the same cop sees the same woman with the rabbit again in the front seat, wearing sunglasses.

Cop Said- "I told you to take this rabbit to the zoo!" 
Woman replied, "I did. We had such a good time at the zoo. Now we are going to the beach this weekend!"



- Customer at a supermarket picks up a bottle of insecticide and asks the salesperson, "Is it good for cockroaches?"
"No," says the salesperson. "It will kill them!" 



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Friday, November 22, 2013

Animal Jokes: Rabbit and Blacksmith



Clean Animal Jokes


-Rabbit and Blacksmith:
  A Rabbit went to a blacksmith-
  Rabbit- Do you have some carrots?
  Blacksmith- No.

 Next Day-
  Rabbit- Do you have some carrots?
  Blacksmith- Hey rabbit I work with Iron. Why would I keep carrots? Go home.

 Next Day- 
 Rabbit- You got some carrots?
 Blacksmith got angry, took a hammer &  all the rabbit's teeth.
 Next Day-
   Rabbit- Do you have Carrot Juice.......





-Jimmy received a parrot for Christmas. The parrot was fully grown, with a very bad attitude and worse vocabulary.

Every other word was an expletive; those that weren't expletives were, to say the least, rude. Jimmy tried to change the bird's attitude by constantly saying polite words, playing soft music... anything he could think of. Nothing worked.

He yelled at the bird, and the bird got worse. He shook the bird, and the bird got madder and more rude.

Finally, in a moment of desperation, Jimmy put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird swearing, squawking, kicking and screaming and then, suddenly, there was absolute quiet.

Jimmy was frightened that he might have actually hurt the bird, and quickly opened the freezer door.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto Jimmy's extended arm and said, "I'm sorry that I offended you with my language and my actions, and I ask your forgiveness. I will endeavor to correct my behavior".

Jimmy was astounded at the changes in the bird's attitude and was about to ask what had changed him, when the parrot continued, "May I ask what the Chicken did?" 



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Saturday, November 9, 2013

Funny Jokes On Animals: Love Story Of Mosquito & Dog

Animal Jokes

- Two bats are hanging upside down on a tree. 
One bat to other, "What was the worst day of your life?" 
Second bat responds, "The day when I had diarrhea!" 


- Q: Where do dogs go when they lose their tails? 
  A: To the retail store.


- Q: Fish with no eyes? 
  A: A fsh.
- A mosquito and a dog fell in love with each other.

  One day out of excitement, the mosquito gave a love bite to the dog.
  Dog became emotional and returned the love bite to the mosquito.
  Very next day…
 .
 .
 .
 .
 .
 .
 Mosquito died of rabies and dog died of malaria…
 What a touching story!!!




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