African Lovers - Fulltooo WhatsApp Jokes

In Africa, a black boyfriend asks his black girlfriend in a dark night, near the Ocean in a very romantic mood...
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Darling..
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Are you there....????

Clean Jokes for WhatsApp on Girls

A girl on WhatsApp Group:

Guys, for my PC, if I install Windows-7 of 32-Bits two times, will it become 64-Bits?
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Another girls in the group replied- 
Yes Of course! But it will also become Windows-14 
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All boys left the group.

Funny Short Jokes For WhatsApp

Sam: I kiss my Wife everyday before I leave 
for Office, what about you? 
Me : Me too, after you leave!!


Those 8 seconds really become so longer 

when you wait for "Skip" option button on 

video sharing site!

 

College Party Joke: Things Learned From College Only

The following are only learned from college:

•  Asleep by 2:30 am is an early night.
•  Quarters are like gold.
•  Make sure your alarm clock has back-up batteries.
•  Showers become less important.
•  Sleep becomes more important.  
•  10 minutes is more than enough time to get ready for your first class.
•  Any game can be made into a drinking game.
• ATMs are the devil's advocate.
• You'll drink anything if it's free..
• Your parents start to tell you stories about their college days.  

 
 

 

Two Hunters In Woods: WhatsApp Jokes

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.

The other guy whips out his cellphone and calls the emergency services. 
He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" 
The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."

There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: 
"OK, Now What?"


 

Top 5 One Liner Jokes

- "Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."  




- "A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."



- "Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you’ll be disconnected!"



- "Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."



- "Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die."

Clean and Funny WhatsApp Jokes- Girlfriend & Boyfriend

Boyfriend: Call me Baby

Girl: My Cute Baby

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Boy: Call me sweetheart
Girl: Sweetheart
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Boy: Call me honey
Girl: Honey
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Boy- Call me Darling
Girl- Darling..
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Boy: Ohh you fool. I need you to make me a Call
Girl: ohhh.. ok ok!

Funny WhatsApp Jokes & FaceBook Messages

- EVER WONDER ...

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?


Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

 
Why don't you ever see the headline
'Psychic Wins Lottery'? 

 
Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

 
Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

 
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?

 
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

 
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

 
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

 
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

 
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

 
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

 
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

 
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?


If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

WhatsApp Funny lol Jokes

Funny Jokes For WhatsApp

-- A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place:

Man: What's the problem officer?

Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.

Man: No sir, I was going 65.

Wife: Oh Harry. You were going 80.

(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)

Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light.

Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light!

Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks.

(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)

Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt.

Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.

Wife: Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt.

Man: Shut your mouth, woman!

Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way?

Wife: No, only when he's drunk.





Two Defence Generals
General Thomas of the Navy was visiting his colleague General Marshall who was in charge of the Army. Thomas arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall. They both walk around the place, and Thomas asks: "So how are your men?"
"Very well trained, Gral. Thomas.", Marshall Said.

Thomas- "I hope so. You see, my men over at the Navy are so well trained, you could see they're the bravest men all over the country." 
Marshall- "Well, my men are very brave, too."

Thomas- "I'd like to see that."

So Marshall calls private Cooper and says: "Private Johnson! I want you to stop that tank coming here with your body!"

"Are you crazy? It'd kill me, you idiot! I'm out of here!" As private Johnson ran away, Marshall turned to a bewildered Thomas and said:

"You see? You have to be pretty brave to talk like that to a general."

Best Jokes Ever

-An English guy was very ill and his son went to visit him in the hospital. Suddenly, the father began to breathe heavily and grabbed the pen and pad by the bed. With his last ounce of strength he wrote a note, dropped it, and died.

The son was so overcome with grief that he didn't remember slipping the note into his pocket. At the funeral, he reached into the pocket of his coat and immediately felt the note. He excitedly read it thinking it might be something he could recite during the service. It said:
"YOU IDIOT -- GET OFF MY OXYGEN PIPE!!!"

-A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been such a devoted couple she would grant each of them a very special wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy! 

Two Crazies:
  A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient's room. 
He found Patient 1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half.
Patient 2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet.

The doctor asked patient number 1 "What are you doing"
The patient replied, "Can't you see I'm sawing this piece of wood in half?" 
The doctor enquired of Patient 1, "What Patient 2 is doing?" Patient 1 replied, "Oh. He's my friend, but he's a little crazy. He thinks he's a light-bulb." 
The doctor looks up and notices Patient 2's face is going all red.

The doctor asks Patient 1, "If he's your friend, you should get him down from there before he hurts himself"

Patient 1 replies, "What? And work in the dark?" 

 

Funny Sms And WhatsApp Jokes

Funny WhatsApp Jokes and Sms

- An elderly husband and wife visit their doctor when they begin forgetting little things.
   Their doctor tells them that many people find it useful to write themselves little notes.
   When they get home, the wife says,
"Dear, will you please go to the kitchen and get me a dish of ice cream? And maybe write that down so you won't forget?"
"Nonsense," says the husband, "I can remember a dish of ice cream."
"Well," says the wife, "I'd also like some strawberries and whipped cream on it."
"My memory's not all that bad, " says the husband. "No problem -- a dish of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream. I don't need to write it down."
He goes into the kitchen, his wife hears pots and pans banging around.
The husband finally emerges from the kitchen and presents his wife with a plate of bacon and eggs.
She looks at the plate and asks,
"Hey, where's the toast I asked for?"



-There were three drunk guys and they got in a car accident. 
  They go to heaven and plead god for a second chance. 
  God says, "Alright, but don't step on a duck. 
  The drunks reply, "Why ducks?" 
  God repeats, "Just don't step on a duck." 
  The drunks agree and go back down to earth. 
  A few weeks go by, and the first steps on a duck. Instantly, he's chained to the ugliest woman in the world. 
  A month goes by and the second steps on a duck. 
  The last of them is laughing at the others and is instantly chained to the most beautiful woman in the world. 
  He says, "God, what did I do for this?" 
  The girl says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck."

 

Funny Jokes

       

      3 drunk guys entered a taxi.
The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so
he started the engine & turned it off again.
He told them.... "We have reached".
The 1st guy gave him money &
the 2nd guy said "thank you".
The 3rd guy gave the driver a slap.
The driver was shocked,
thinking the 3rd drunk knew what he did.
he asked "whats that for?".
The 3rd guy replied:
"CONTROL YOUR SPEED NEXT TIME..

Clean WhatsApp Jokes

  

Funny WhatsApp Joke and SMS

- School teacher sent home a note..:..
  "Your son is an obedient & bright student but spends too much time with girls.”
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  Mother sent a note back:

  ”Please advise a solution!
  Father has the same problem."

 

- Mom Of The Millennium:
   A Girl Tells her Mom:
   “I Want Some Fresh Air, Can I Go for a Walk?”
   Mom: “Alright, But Ask Ur Fresh Air To Leave You Home By 9 PM”!

 

- BOY:
    Its just a formality, but I still ask
    “Can I marry your Daughter”
  FATHER:
  "Who told u its just a formality?"
  BOY: 
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   “The Gynaecologist."

WhatsApp Funny Girlfriend Boyfriend Jokes

     

FUNNY GIRLFRIEND BOYFRIEND

BEFORE MARRIAGE:
Boy : I have been waiting for this day
Girl : Do u want me to leave?
Boy : No
Girl : Do u love me?
Boy : Ofcourse
Girl : Will u ever cheat me?
Boy : Never in my life
Girl : Will u ever kiss me?
Boy : Every chance i get
Girl : Will u hit me?
Boy : Are u crazy?
Girl : Can i trust u?
Boy : Yes
Girl : Sweet Heart
AFTER MARRIAGE
Read from bottom to top

-The number of secrets in your phone is directly proportional to the speed that you snatch it back from your GF/BF….

-Girlfriend : Dear .. Whenever you miss me. What do you do ?
Boyfriend : I eat your favorite chocolate
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Boyfriend : What do you do ? Whenever you miss me.
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Girlfriend : I smoke some packets of cigarette :D

Funny Blonde Jokes- What Does Blonde & Beer Have Common?

Q: What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common? 

A: Both are empty from the neck up. 

Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear? 
A: A wind tunnel. 

 

Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird? 

A: She threw it off a cliff.

Girlfriend Boyfriend Jokes- Whom Shall I Marry?

Girl to her best friend- 

I know these two guys and I like both of them. Who do you think will be the Lucky guy? 

Friend: Whoever you get married, other Guy will be the lucky one.

Boy: One of my ancestors was actually a king.

Girl: Gosh! I never knew you were a descendant of King Kong.

Latest Funny Jokes For WhatsApp- They Lied I Believed

Teachers said class tenth is very important.

I believed them and studied… But they lied!!

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. Then they said class twelve is very important.
I believed and continued studying… But they lied again 
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Now they say semester exams are important
I say ” I’m studying…”
This time……. They believed and I lied