xml feed Best Funny Jokes: 15 Most Funny New Year's Resolutions & Status 2014

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

15 Most Funny New Year's Resolutions & Status 2014

- I will actually laugh out loud when I type “LOL” to the person I am messaging with.

- Only get divorced and remarried once this year.

- I will try to drive closer to the speed limit.

- Start washing my hands after I use the restroom.

- I resolve to stop poisoning my family with my cooking.

- I will really work from home on my “work from home” days.

- Stop setting three alarms on my phone, just so I can turn the volume off after the first one.

- I will not wet the bed and blame it on my younger brother.

- I promise to be nice to my dog. I won't starve him to death more than 10 times.... in a month.

- I will not sit at the computer all the time. I will try to stand while I type for at least thirty minutes a day.


- Start using Facebook for something other than Farmville and stupid quizzes.

- I will stop hitting the “like” button just because I like the person who posted but not what they wrote.

- I will use my treadmill for something other than a place to hang my jacket.

- Gain enough weight to get on The Biggest Loser.

- Learn what the hell "resolution" means.

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